I became Homeless in early 2004.
This is what I had to say about it – again.
When not being summarily ignored and erased, WOC on Twitter discussing Depression and other forms of Neurodiversity and Disabilities are routinely shamed for not being the “strong” women we are stereotyped as by WP and other POC. *ANGER AS AN INDICATOR OF DISTRESS* is never considered.
AND: Im with a Primary Care Mental Health Team. No changing staff like the old Community Mental Health Team. This Specialist is said to be the best in my area. They will be looking at Bipolar too instead of the Major Depression diagnosis I currently have (manic episodes are contradicting that and the 200mg Sertraline daily does nothing for them).
The Disability / Mental Health Assessor said it was vitally important to look at & treat the WHOLE person rather than looking at everything piecemeal. In her opinion the reason why CBT FAILED is because no one has considered anything but Major Depression and/or me being a hypochondriac when I have other health problems that are well-documented. She also couldn’t believe that no one I’d seen so far in last 3-4 years didn’t think to ask ME what *I* thought about my disabilities / problems! She said flat-out that CBT isn’t the cure-all for everything & especially for people with complex disability & illness.
If I am an Aspie – then other health issues could be sorted out simply by addressing that – CBT won’t help me.
|Total score||Language||Social relatedness||Sensory/motor||Circumscribed interests|
|Test taken by you on 10 June 2013||207.0||19.0||104.0||48.0||36.0|
|Test taken by you on 31 July 2013||210.0||21.0||93.0||57.0||39.0|
|Your average score is||208.5||20.0||98.5||52.5||37.5|
|Threshold values for suspected ASD||65.0||4.0||31.0||16.0||15.0|
|The average score for males with ASD (368 people took this test)||140.8||11.1||69.8||33.5||26.5|
|The average score for females with ASD (228 people took this test)||165.0||13.1||77.7||42.5||31.7|
|The average score for males with suspected ASD (1591 people took this test)||146.9||11.3||75.4||32.7||27.6|
|The average score for females with suspected ASD (1560 people took this test)||152.0||11.5||74.0||37.1||29.4|
|The average score for male neurotypicals (505 people took this test)||83.8||6.6||44.7||17.2||15.2|
|The average score for female neurotypicals (615 people took this test)||77.1||5.2||38.9||18.9||14.1|
If you wish to find out more about this test you can read the original research paper here
It is with regret that I am having to close down my self-hosted WordPress site thecreativecrip.com and revert to my old site which I continued to maintain at thecreativecrip.wordpress.com as a backup. Thank you to all my thecreativecrip.com readers for their support and I hope you will subscribe there. One of the perks of doing this is that it will be easy for others to share my work and re-blog through the WordPress.com platform itself.
I’ve had problems with my US-based web host, intrahost.com, for almost a year now after three years of outstanding service. It appears that the man behind the venture, Greg Kuiper, doesn’t care about his business now that he has a cushy job with popular hosting control panel techies cPanel. Paid invoices remain unprocessed yet I keep getting new ones charging me for “Parking Fees” and the same things that I’ve already paid for. At last check the total of nefarious charges was almost at $300. Domain renewals were not taken care of, which I and the few clients I had have to pay the consequences for. Help Desk tickets have gone unanswered for MONTHS. affiliate earnings remain locked in my account which I can no longer access as the intrahost.com website went offline a few weeks ago never to return. The Facebook Page has disappeared a while ago – or perhaps I was blocked from it for raising flags about web outtages that lasted more than a day with no action or notice by Intrahost. Greg is even a Facebook Friend (Ha!) – but ignores me at every turn now. No more Mister Nice Guy.
On top of all that, neither myself nor my clients are able to get the transfer codes we need to move our active domains elsewhere. My Iconic Imagery business identities and those of The Creative Crip are fortunately listed as being owned by me but I have no control over them at all now. I’m not sure what’s going on because although one domain expired, I’m not able to buy it through another registrar – as it seems to be locked with me still listed as the owner. My web hosting package obviously remains active but in my opinion it would be unwise to carry on making use of it with the owner of the servers having vanished into thin air (in a manner of speaking).
I trusted Greg Kuiper with my business and those of friends and professional connections. For just over 3 years the service was outstanding. I never saw this problem coming – and even transferred domains to Intrahost.com from a popular service I had used for years. Make no mistake, this can happen to anyone at any time and with any web host. There are a lot of one-man bands fronting as larger operations. This most definitely is the case with Intrahost.com. There are also many unscrupulous larger operations. The best anyone can do is research and think critically.
I contacted the Better Business Bureau who are effectively useless. I note that people are starting to complain to them about Intrahost.com but not getting anywhere through the BBB. Now I have to raise the issue with ICANN – and continue to let people know what happened as I try to rebuild.
Jason Arnopp @JasonArnopp (Author, scriptwriter. Doctor Who, Sarah Jane, Friday 13th) is working on a book regarding professional (Fiction) writers and Depression. He asked me to contribute. This is what I had to say…
A well-meaning new-found long-lost relative decided to comment on my NaNoWriMo 2011 Facebook entry referring to my struggles to participate because of Major Depression: “truth is I’m strategic…” she wrote. “…the goal is achievable you have to trust yourself to make it happen.” Her sentiments are typical of the simple-minded inspiration porn that I am forced to put up with routinely. My response is always that I do what I can, when I can, but unfortunately more often than not it means struggling immensely to do not very much at all. I give myself pep talks and formulate strategies to try and be productive to no avail.
The greatest irony for me as a writer living with Depression has always been that I get my best ideas and am the most prolific when in a severe down-swing. I find that writing fiction, even Harry Potter fan fiction, is therapeutic in a way that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has never been for me. I even managed to put this into one of my stories with a fan fiction-writing protagonist who proposed that “sometimes fiction serves a purpose in enabling people to live out their fantasies, purge their own demons or perhaps set a standard for themselves. It was only when people confused fantasy with reality that there was a problem.”Self-insertion? I won’t deny it. I’ve learned an awful lot about myself and my illness through writing and making use of my own lived experience (especially post-diagnosis in 2009). This in turn informs others including those who live with it – something still sorely needed to combat the stigma of mental illness. I would also agree that I lose myself in the gloriousness of creation process. This is even more pronounced during manic cycles of insomnia. Perhaps that’s why I have so many epic tales that remain unfinished after starting them nearly a decade ago and have failed to live up to the potential I’ve been told that I have. Depression has impacted every aspect of my life for good or ill, and my interests and ambitions as a professional writer are no exception.
Lisa J. Ellwood
@IconicImagery ( & Communications account)
#NaNoWriMo 2011 (#disability #spoonie #mentalhealth) – #amwriting (thecreativecrip.wordpress.com
#NaNoWriMo – Day 2: Not #fitforwork or anything else… (thecreativecrip.wordpress.com
@CreativeCrip in the media: #xmasathome #nyeathome interview GRAZIA Australia (thecreativecrip.wordpress.com
“Be careful who you follow because you never know where they will lead you”
~Mark Hancock, “Third Wave (Experiment)” Student
“Thinking must never submit itself, neither to a dogma, nor to a party, nor to a passion, nor to an interest, nor to a preconceived idea, nor to whatever it may be, if not to facts themselves, because, for it, to submit would be to cease
“Cowardice asks the question – is it safe?
Expediency asks the question – is it politic?
Vanity asks the question – is it popular?
But conscience asks the question – is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because it is right.”
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.